Deleted Scene - Two Chapter Twos
As I’ve confessed in previous blogs, the initial draft of The Tiltersmith was way too long for its own good. There was so much work I ended up cutting and some of it was really hard to let go of. In any case, I always save my old drafts. Below are two opening excerpts from Chapter Two of The Tiltersmith. Can you guess which one is from an early draft and which one is from the final draft?
From Chapter Two Science Class Feenix was distracted by the sight of Mr. Ross standing in the middle of the room with a daffodil stuck behind his ear. Even though they were late, he nodded to them in a friendly manner as they entered. After everyone was seated, he took the daffodil out from behind his ear and waved it at them. “And today would be?” “The Vernal Equinox,” Detestable Robert answered without waiting to be called upon. “Otherwise known as?” Mr. Ross asked. “The first day of spring,” Danton answered. “Yes, siirree bob!” Mr. Ross glanced out the window at the cold icy rain and shook his head. “Let’s get back to the problem of spring later. I think we should forge on with the digestive system, don’t you? We seem to be falling behind.” “Yeah well, if certain people would simply duct tape their mouths shut,” Robert said in a voice just loud enough for Feenix to hear. Feenix turned around and shot an invisible poison arrow into Robert’s eyeball. Mr. Ross went on, “Okay—let’s do a quick review before diving into the poop. Why do we need a digestive system?” Sam raised his hand. “We need digestion to break down our food into nutrients so we can grow and get energy and repair stuff in our body that breaks down.” “Sooperpooperooney! And who remembers the specific function of the small intestine?”
Deleted Scene - Two Chapter Twos Page 2