ASD Resource Guide

Digital Parenting and your Autistic Child. 1

Table of Contents Ch 1. Special Needs Requires Special Attention How to Be a Good Digital Parent pg. What to Do if Your Child is Being Cyberbullied pg. Take Action Against Cyberbullying pg. Sexting and the Laws in Your State pg. The Importance of Filtering & Monitoring pg. What’s All the Fuss About Filters? pg. Ch 2. Not All Screen Time is Created Equal How the ASD Brain Works: Fixation, Hyper Focus & Communication pg. Tech Addiction & Electronic Stimuli: How to Understand, Measure & Moderate pg. Creating a Screen Time Reward System pg. Video Games & Your Child pg. Incorporating Tech into Learning Assistanc pg. Screen Time Trends & Attitudes pg. Ch 3. Introducing Boundaries & Creating Digital Distance Apps vs. Social Media: Usage, Warnings & Etiquette pg. A Roadmap for Navigating the Mine Field of Social Media pg. Guarding Your Child’s Privacy pg. Transitions, Triggers and Tantrums: How to Avoid a Digital Meltdown pg. How to Create an Unplugged Bedtime Routine pg. The Myth of Multitasking pg. Teaching Self-Regulation Skills pg. Digital Detox Checklist pg. Digital Contract for Your Family pg. 2

Ch 1. Special Needs Requires Special Attention 3

How to Be a Good Digital Parent Being a good parent and being a good “digital parent” are two very di昀昀erent things. Good parents have their child’s well-being at heart. A good digital parent guides their child’s connected behavior, just like their real-world behavior with a little help from technology. Zift, your digital parenting ally, gives parents insight and power to guide their family’s screen time and habits. By combining the two, you’re able to bring parenting into the digital generation. 4

Being a good digital parent is not without its challenges even with the assistance of technology. Here are a few tips to help you along the way: Be patient. You’re not going to know everything and that’s okay. Learn. Understanding the digital world means knowing where your kids are spending time. Scroll through Facebook, download Snapchat, start your own Twitter account. Understand which interests, obsessions and triggers your child may have and moderate them. Lay down ground rules. Be clear about your expectations. Clearly communicating a reward system can be helpful in managing behaviors. Designate safe spaces. Create device-free areas in the house – like bedrooms – to minimize distractions and exposure to stimuli. Designate shared spaces. Keeping computers, tablets and phones in public areas increase the safety factor of online viewing. Unplug at the dinner table. Family dinners are the perfect time to unplug & focus on bonding. Practice what you preach. Follow these rules too – kids will lose trust if you break them. For other suggestions visit Zift’s Parent Portal with essential insights on apps and other technology that, as parents, we all should know. If you’re not sure what an app does, or whether it’s safe, you can access videos, descriptions, ratings and other use- ful data. Zift’s Parent Portal is constantly being updated to include new and trending topics, as well as categories of apps you should know and understand. 5

What to Do If Your Child is Cyberbullied Being mocked online can be particular- of parents reported that their children with ly hurtful to a child, 65% who may feel as if Asperger’s syndrome had been victimized by there is no escape peers in some way within the past year from the ridicule. Re- search has revealed 47% reported that their children had been hit by peers that kids with disabil- or siblings ities are two to three times more likely to be 50% reported them to be scared by their peers bullied. Especially at risk are children with were attacked by a gang and hurt in the Autism Spectrum Dis- 9% private parts order (ASD), as bullies often exploit di昀昀er- indicated their child had never been invited to a ences in communica- 12% tion ability and social birthday party cognition, and this regularly occurs in the 6% were almost always picked last for teams virtual world. For ex- ample, the Issues in 3% ate alone at lunch every day Comprehensive Pedi- atric Nursing state: How Can You Tell if Your Child is Being Cyberbullied The warning signs are often discreet for children with ASD. Increased anxiety or a change in daily routings like diet or sleeping patterns can also be a sign that something is not right. You can also search social media to 昀椀nd out if accounts are being opened under their name. The National Autism Association identi昀椀es three forms of bullying – all of which can be pervasive online. Manipulative Conditional Friendship Exploitative When a child is coerced Friendship alternated Features of a child’s and controlled. with bullying behavior. condition are used to bully. 6

Take Action Against Cyberbullying Take Action Against Cyberbullying If you are certain that your child is a victim, it’s time for you to get involved to protect your child. Here are some steps you can take to protect your child from cyberbullying: 1. Start by Talking Encourage them to discuss their feelings by talking about your own online experiences, weaving in the good and the bad. Make it clear that cyberbullying is not okay and should be reported right away if something makes them feel bad. It is important to remain calm so as not to provoke any more stress or anxiety from an already confused child. If your kid is having trouble discussing the experience, try simplifying the questions and options, move deliberately towards the root of the problem, working with your kid patiently. 2. Teach Your Child Online Etiquette Your child should understand what is and isn’t appropriate to say and do online, and that social media has rules too. Make sure they understand that they, too, must respect others online. 3. Limit Online Access Set clear rules and guidelines on tech usage, including what to do when problems or uncomfortable situations arise. 4. Protect Your Child O昀툀ine Is this one of their classmates? Is it someone they met at an extracurricular activity? If so, your child may also be experiencing bullying in the real world and you can address that through the proper authorities (school administration, team captain, etc.). 5. Don’t Engage the Bully or Their Family Online If you know who is doing the bullying, you can reach out to their parents if you have a relationship with them to discuss calmly but be careful before taking this step. Many parents are sensitive about such accusations and meeting face to face without a neutral third party may only make things worse. 6. Report and Document Misconduct Rule violations can be reported to the social medium, web host or online system. Threats of physical harm, however, should be reported to the police. Be sure to keep screen shots of all comments and images, especially those that are inappropriate, threatening or profane. 7. Get Your Child Actively Engaged O昀툀ine If a bullied child is alone and friendless there is potential for them to experience depression and harmful behaviors. Help them to foster a hobby that they like and can share with others to promote healthy self-esteem. 7

Sexting Laws in Your State For kids with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) sexting is a complex issue. In some cases, they may not understand that the pictures they are sending or receiving violate the laws of their state, leading to potentially dangerous behavior that could get them in trouble. State laws have been adapting to the unique nature of sexting between teens by creating legis- lation that addresses the issue speci昀椀cally. In states that have not developed legislation for sexting, minors and adults are tried under the state’s child pornography laws, which may include jail time and required registration as a sex o昀昀ender. In many states, all forms of sexting are charged under child pornography law. 8

Arizona: Arizona has a sexting law that applies only to minors. If a minor engages with another minor in sexting could be found guilty of a petty o昀昀ense of class 3 misdemeanor, depending on the circum- stances. Adults age 18 and older found sexting with a minor will be charged under Arizona’s child pornography laws. Connecticut: Minors caught sexting will be charged with a misdemeanor, as of November 1, 2010. These individuals could face up to one year in prison in addition to a 昀椀ne of $2,000. Florida: For the 昀椀rst o昀昀ense, any minor caught sending, possessing, or creating nude images of minors can receive a non-criminal violation, subject to a $60 昀椀ne or 8 hours of community service in addition to training or instructional classes about the dangers of sexting. Georgia: Any teenager who creates or possesses a sexually explicit image is charged with a misdemeanor if the teen is at least 14, the person in possession is no older than 17, and the person in the image consented to its creation and distribution. Illinois: In 2010, Illinois passed a law that makes sexting between minors illegal, including if two minors sexting or a minor distributing sexually explicit images of another minor. They will be charged with a misdemeanor and ordered to receive court supervision, counseling, or community service. Louisiana: If a minor—anyone under the age of 17 in this state—is found to distribute an indecent photo of him or herself to another minor may have to undergo counseling or other punishments, but will not receive jail time. If a minor distributes an inappropriate picture of another mi- nor may be punished with up to 10 years in jail and a $250 昀椀ne. Stricter penalties are in place for adults, including jail time. 9

Missouri: If a minor is caught possessing or distributing sexually explicit images of a minor—including photos of themselves—will be charged with a Class A misdemeanor on their 昀椀rst o昀昀ense, with up to 1 year in jail and a $1,000 昀椀ne. Nebraska: In 2009, a law was passed making it a crime to send sexually explicit photos of a minor via text message. O昀昀enders under the age of 18 will not be prosecuted for receiving such images of a minor 15 years of age or older if the image was taken voluntarily and the recipient doesn’t distribute the image to anyone else. Nevada: Nevada’s law, passed in 2011, applies only to minors who are caught sexting, with lesser punishment than if charged under child pornography laws. New Hampshire: Anyone who possesses a sexually explicit image of a minor can be charged with possession of child pornography. Minors found guilty are subject to juvenile delinquency charges; adults will be subject to criminal proceedings. New Jersey: The 昀椀rst time a minor is caught sexting, they will not be prosecuted under current child pornography laws. Under this new law, if caught sending sexually explicit images via cell phone, minors will be required to attend a state-sponsored educational program about the dangers of sending these images. New York: Adults and minors who create, distribute, or possess images of a minor engaged in sexually explicit act would be prosecuted under child pornography laws. A diversion program in the state allows 昀椀rst- time o昀昀enders to avoid jail time, and unlike almost every other state, would not be required to register as a sex o昀昀ender. 10

Pennsylvania: Minors are currently prosecuted under child pornography laws for sexting and could be subject to jail time. Enacted legislation re- duces this to a second-degree misdemeanor for teens, and for 昀椀rst-time o昀昀enders, the charge would not go onto their permanent record. Rhode Island: Sexting between minors is illegal in Rhode Island, and those found guilty will be charged in State Family Court. Minors who distrib- ute sexually explicit images of a minor other than themselves can still be charged under child pornography laws. Utah: In 2009, law was passed that makes sexting between minors a misdemeanor rather than a felony and the minor o昀昀ender will not have to register as a sex o昀昀ender. Vermont: Minors found to be sending explicit images of themselves will be declared delinquent in family court. For a 昀椀rst o昀昀ense, the minor will be sent to a diversion program and will not have to register as a sex o昀昀ender. The conviction can be expunged after turning 18. West Virginia: Adults who create, distribute, or possess sexually explicit images of a minor will be charged under the state’s child pornography laws. If convicted, they could serve jail time. Teens that participate in sexting are subject to less serious charges, like a diversion program. 11

The Importance of Filtering and Monitoring Psychology Today reported that children on the Video Porn Consumption autism spectrum are at higher risk of developing an addiction to pornography. The protection of 41% kids from sexually explicit material is important for all parents, but for parents of children with Autism 35% Spectrum Disorder (ASD), this protection takes on a special signi昀椀cance. 21% Early engagement in pornography can lead to mis- conceptions of appropriate sexual behavior and de- pendence on porn. These e昀昀ects can be ampli昀椀ed in kids with ASD, as they have a di昀케cult time un- derstanding what they are watching and the con- sequences of porn. Preventing accidental exposure

What’s All the Fuss About Filters? Obsessive Internet Use It is important to every parent to keep their kids safe from the malicious content on the internet. For parents of kids with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), internet 昀椀lters can be a key tool to curb obsessive tendencies. Those on the autism spectrum often exhib- it a particular interest in one subject, be it planes, trains, a football team, or music. They will devote a lot of time to the subject and, sometimes, can develop an obsession with it. An obsession di昀昀ers from an inter- est in that an obsession occupies so much of one’s thoughts and inclinations that it undermines other important areas of one’s life, such as relationships, school, and sleep. Internet use can feed these obsessions, as those with ASD will spend unchecked hours engrossed in the subject, as it is therapeutic and calming for them. This is where 昀椀lters can help. Rationing Time on the Internet By making use of e昀昀ective 昀椀ltering programs, parents can block a child’s access to pages and chats containing certain keywords, meta tags, and web objects. This gives parents more control over screen time and limits on obsessive behav- ior. The National Autistic Society of the U.K. rec- ommends rationing time spent with an interest that has become or is becoming an obsession, but such rationing can be di昀케cult if the child has time alone on the internet. Customizable 昀椀ltering is a parental control tool to employ a limit internet use, as the 昀椀lter can be turned o昀昀 when the child is allotted time to explore their interest. If directed and guided, a 昀椀xation can be used to motivate an autistic child to learn and broaden their horizons. But this guidance requires direc- tion and direction requires limits. It is important to ensure an innocent intrigue does not develop into a time-devouring obsession that limits other parts of a child’s life, but instead enriches their life. 13

Ch 2. Not All Screen Time is Created Equal 14

How the Autistic Brain Works: Fixation, Hyper Focus & the E昀昀ects on Communication In the real world, to communicate you have to read body language, social cues, understand and provide feedback, engage in back and forth volleys of conversation. That’s hard work for people with autism. It’s much easier to connect with a screen, including talking to people online instead of in person. Children on the autism spectrum often seem to get ‘stuck’ on certain topics or interests, and in today’s digital world, it’s often around video gaming. When kids get 昀椀xated on something it’s called ‘perseverating’. It’s when their brain gets stuck on just one topic and they can’t seem to get o昀昀 of it. Perseverating & the ASD Brain Avoid Addictive Entertainment Whether it’s playing a game, talking about Because of its addictive nature, gaming a topic, or asking for something they want, should be limited. Children that are addict- they cannot get it o昀昀 their mind and tend to ed will not want to get o昀昀 the games, may only discuss that one interest. They get hy- even soil themselves to avoid getting up to per focused on one thing and are just stuck use the bathroom while gaming, or refuse to there. Perseverating is very common with eat unless it’s at their computer desk. They children with autism and sometimes other may refuse to interact with peers and make children as well. Often children get stuck on friends because they only want to play vid- their games because it’s fun and easy for eo games. This can become a detriment to them to play and they don’t have to try hard them in the long run, because it’s important to interact like they do in real life. to learn how to communicate and socialize in order to survive in our world. While it’s okay to spend some time in fantasy games, it’s even more important to learn life lessons and social skills. 15

Set Limits To help reduce the addiction of screen time, set limits on the time the child can play games and watch TV or You- Tube. Also limit what they are playing or watching. Encourage Social Play Encourage more social play. To start, have a friend over to play the games with them – for a limited amount of time, and also have them spend some time playing interactively with other toys/games, outside play, etc. Enroll the child in activities, even if they are resistant at 昀椀rst, that encourages team work, social interaction, and communi- cation/play. Expand O昀툀ine If your child likes Pokémon video games, have them play Pokémon cards with a peer or join a Pokémon club at school. If your child likes Lego games, have them build with actual Legos, and join a so- cial group that plays with Legos (many libraries, toy stores, and even schools o昀昀er these groups). Tailor Activities Even if your child is resistant to any- thing non-gaming related they likely will eventually participate/enjoy oth- er activities if you insist on it, 昀椀rmly but nicely. Maybe the child can earn a re- ward such as if they participate in soc- cer practice today, then they can have an extra 10 minutes on the computer, for example. 16

Tech Addiction & Electronic Stimuli: How to Understand, Measure and Moderate You’ve tried your best but no matter what you do, your child’s favorite activity is to spend all day on their smart phone or tablet. If bribery, discipline, and intervention has not worked, it’s time for you to face the truth: your child may have a tech addiction. Understanding how ASD brains interact with screen usage is a focus of Dr. Victoria Dunkley’s research. She calls the side e昀昀ects from pervasive use of digital devices and screen exposure, which includes tech addiction, hyperarousal and dysregulation, “Electronic Screen Syndrome”. She states that, “screen time – particularly the interactive kind – acts like a stimulant, not unlike ca昀昀eine, amphetamines, or cocaine. Children with autism are often sensitive to stimulants of all kinds, whether pharmaceutical or electronic.” Understanding Your Own Habits Examine Your Own Tech Usage The Myth of Boredom How much time do you use screens and Research has shown that boredom is tech around your children? They will learn linked to creativity. If you or your children from what they see, not just what you tell are struggling to be creative, to solve them to do. Breaking your child’s tech problems and to think outside the box, you habit begins with working on your own. may be spending too much of your down- time on your devices. Overuse of Smart Phones With so many families exchanging land- lines for smart phones, many of us now feel we need 24/7 access to our phones. Take stock of how often you use and rely on your phone and other devices and think about which are not necessary. 17

Setting Boundaries Setting Boundaries Once you’ve taken a good look at those very di昀케cult questions and answered them honestly, you are ready to create boundaries for your child. Tech addiction often takes place among all the members of a family, so make sure that you and all your children abide by these rules. 1. Create places and times that are tech free in your home. Stay true to one big rule: NO phones or tablets while you’re eating. Instead, after dinner snacks can be a time to turn o昀昀 the TV and read together. 2. Turn o昀昀 the Wi-Fi. This is an easy way to create “tech free” times in your home, depending on how your system is set up. You can also limit your phone’s data plan rather than have an unlimited package. 3. Optimize their screen time. Your family members are going to be on tech, so do your best to encourage educational activities that engages the whole family or in some way boosts a skill. 4. Create tech-free family activities to do regularly. A daily walk after dinner is something we do together whenever the weather is nice. Sunshine and fresh air can positively counteract too much screen time. 5. Create boundaries for using tech. Create a list of what your children must do before they turn on the TV, gaming device, tablet or phone. This can include crafts, chores, play time and time outside or get creative with it. Be speci昀椀c about the rules for earning screen time and just as clear for losing screen time due to bad behaviors. 6. Filter & monitor digital habits. Filtering keywords and websites is crucial for children on the spectrum, since triggers are speci昀椀c to each individual and their preferences. Spend some time monitoring your child’s online activity so you can learn what their digital habits are and identify any red 昀氀ags in their behavior. 18

Creating a Screen Time Reward System Setting boundaries and clear time limits are ways to e昀昀ectively guide your child with digital use. More importantly, choosing a behavior goal to reward is a way to tailor an e昀昀ective reward system to your speci昀椀c child. Set clear, realistic goals and build on those gradually over time. For example, Lauren Elder, PhD, clinical psychologist and Assistant Director of Dissemination Science at Autism Speaks suggests: Step 1: Choose a behavior you want to increase that is appropriate for your child’s skill level. This may be something simple like playing nicely with a sibling, or something more complicated like getting ready for school independently. Step 2: Break down the behavior into small chunks that you can reward. For example, if you want your child to play nicely with a sibling, you may break down the behavior by rewarding your child for every minute he plays without hitting. Over time you can increase the demands, to two minutes without hitting, then 昀椀ve minutes without hitting before he gets the iPad. Step 3: Make sure you’re consistent. Whatever step your child is on, he should get the reward each time he does what he’s asked. He should also not get the reward at other times. Over time you can add in more behaviors that can earn time on the iPad. O昀昀er a Substitute Behavior Natural consequences are punishments directly related to that behavior – like tak- ing away a plate of food if you child is throwing their dinner – however, for special needs children and kids on the spectrum, the natural consequences may not be seen as punishments. For many neurotypical children, being sent to isolation in their room would be a punishment. However, for spectrum kids, being in isolation is usually preferred, therefore this would not be seen as a punishment or reaction to bad behavior. 19

Video Games and Your Child A recent study conducted by psychologist Mica Mazurek found that those with ASD spent 60% more time playing video games and watching TV than the combined time of all non-screen activities. Both male and Video games provide female participants spent considerably more a controlled, safe en- time playing video games than their typically developing siblings. vironment for children Moderate to Avoid Addiction with ASD to develop The negative e昀昀ects of video game play are these processing skills, typically related to ‘excessive’ amounts of time as they are not bom- spent playing, so it helps to understand what barded with sti昀氀ing so- those limits are. Kids with ASD are especially cial stimuli. prone to video game addiction, oftentimes for the very reasons that video games can be ben- e昀椀cial, because the world of a video game is predictable, patterned, and controlled. Experts recommend that children spend no to advance past the next level, which o昀昀ers a more than one to three hours playing per day. new challenge. Learning to adapt to new criteria Of course, there are other indicators that your and obstacles is a crucial skill for any develop- child may be spending too much time playing, ing child, but for kids with ASD, video games are such as a slip in grades, neglecting household more predictable and stable than human inter- duties or developing a sedentary lifestyle. action, allowing them to focus on skill building. Of course, children still need to develop social skills Parents should also monitor their child’s be- by interacting in social settings, but the valuable havior -- are they acting more aggressive af- possibility to learn problem solving and 昀氀exible ter playing, are they using o昀昀ensive language? thinking skills in a safer video game environment These are also indicators that it may be wise to should not be discounted. limit the amount of time your child is spending playing video games. Learning to Lose Failure at one point or another is inevitable. Problem Solving Losing teaches a lesson of deeper importance: Game play introduces children to a problem, perfection is impossible. Kids learn that they are in which they have to 昀椀nd a solution. Players imperfect and they will screw things up and that have to continue trying di昀昀erent approaches to the only path forward is adjustment and perse- solving the problem before they are reward- verance. ed by reaching a new level or getting past a Forming Social Bonds section of the game. All of this problem solv- ing is accomplished by focusing amidst dis- Games provide a topic of conversation with oth- tractions within the game. For players on the er players, a common bond to talk about for autism spectrum, it requires learning one pat- kids with ASD that often struggle with thinking of tern then tinkering and adapting that pattern things to talk about. 20

Incorporating Tech into Learning Assistance There are apps for a wide range of func- Alpha Writer: Alpha Writer is an appli- tions and there are a substantial number cation that teaches simple reading and that prove helpful for kids, parents, guard- spelling using pictures and phonetics. Kids ians, and teachers of children with Autism choose a picture and must choose the let- Spectrum Disorder (ASD). Here are a few ters to spell the word that matches the pic- examples from an ever-broadening list. ture as it is sounded out by the speaker, helping to develop verbal skills. First Then Visual Schedule: First Then is one of the many visual planners on the mar- Smart Toys Are the Future ket. It provides users with a structured, cus- Integrated smart toys are growing in the tomizable daily schedule to display events marketplace and these toys are a promising of the day, routines, and speci昀椀c steps that area of exploration to engage and educate need to be taken to complete an activity. kids with ASD in a customizable manner. For a price of $4.99, First Then could o昀昀er access and much needed daily structure Leka from a mobile device. Leka is designed with the speci昀椀c goal of A Present for Milo: A Present for Milo is being a companion for autistic children. The an easy to read interactive story that follows mobile sphere rolls around, plays games, a cat on an adventure through a house. makes chirping noises and plays music, Readers tap on objects on each page to functioning as a buddy and communicative interact with them and this combination tool. Many of Leka’s functions are customiz- of sounds, pictures, and simple, sound-out able to meet the unique needs of each child words is touted as especially bene昀椀cial to it interacts with. The screen displays facial the learning of comprehension skills for expressions and connects to a mobile app children on the spectrum. so the child can play educational games with Leka. Romibo Romibo is another robot designed to com- municate and connect with kids on the au- tism spectrum. The furry blue robot social- izes and asks questions to kids to engage them and build con昀椀dence in their social skills. Because it is a robot and more pre- dictable than a human, interaction is much easier and less intimidating for kids with ASD. Romibo is a great tool for therapists, teachers, and parents to get their child so- cializing and expressing themselves. 21

Virtual and Augmented Reality Virtual and augmented reality systems are pioneering new methods of treatment and education for kids and young adults with autism. Vir- tual reality (VR) immerses the user in a virtual world, entirely sep- arated from their surroundings. Augmented reality (AR) does not create a disconnected world, as virtual reality does, but adds to the current setting. Important projects are utilizing the exciting possi- bilities of AR technology to assist and teach those on the autism spectrum. Stanford University It is important that researchers and developers began the Au- “ tism Glass Project, a therapy software that interactions with robots runs on Google Glass. Autism Glass is a and smart toys do not facial recognition software that acts as a breed of real time 昀氀ashcards, giv- replace social ing the user cues to teach them what emotion they are seeing. Autism interactions. They Glass is real time, providing the user with cues of the emotions of should instead serve real, moving people as they in- teract. Testimony and feedback to sharpen social skills from trial parents indicates the project has been e昀昀ective and give kids the in teaching social skills and con昀椀dence to engage emotional recognition for kids on the spectrum. more richly the world around them. ” 22

Screen Time Trends & Attitudes Adults and children spend the majority of their lives online – with repercussions and e昀昀ects that are, in many cases, too early to measure. Because the rapid growth of technology and digital use is outpacing the rate of research, we 昀椀nd ourselves in uncharted territory. For ASD, ADD and ADHD children, this worldwide prevalence of screen time makes the mon- itoring and moderating digital use even more important. According to Victoria Dunkley, M.D., “a brain with autism has inherent characteristics that screen time exacerbates. In truth, these impacts in occur in all of us, but children with autism will be both more prone to experiencing negative e昀昀ects and less able to recover from them.” Children and adolescents are now consuming media more than ever James before. According to the Brookings Steyer, the Chief Institution, the average eight to eighteen-year old’s consumption of Executive O昀케cer and media has: founder of Common Sense Media, noted, “It just shows you that these kids live in this mas- sive 24/7 digital media technolo- gy world, and it’s shaping every aspect of their life. They spend far more time with media technology than any Increased the amount of time other thing in their spent watching TV by 38 minutes life.” a day. Increased time spent on computers by 27 minutes a day. Increased time spent playing video games by 24 minutes a day. 23

Look at Total Screen Time Because there are now more types of media available than ever before in history, most researchers are beginning to think in terms of “total screen time” rather than focusing just on television, video games, or computers. 61% of teens said they wanted to see if their online posts are getting likes and comments. 36% of teens said they wanted to see if their friends are doing things without them. 21% of teens said they wanted to make sure no one was saying mean things about them. 53% of tweens – kids 8 to 12 – have their own tablet 67% of teens have their own smartphones Mobile devices account for 41% of all screen time for tweens and 46% for teens. In this sweet spot, Dr. Przybylski reports that screen time is not harmful and may even bene昀椀t teens’ well-being by providing opportunities to develop social connections and skills. His study 昀椀ndings are on weekdays, teens’ well-being peaked at: About 1 hour and 40 minutes About 1 hour 57 minutes of of video-game play. smartphone use. About 3 hours and 41 minutes About 4 hours and 17 minutes of watching videos. of using computers. 24

Impact of Media for ASD Kids Since kids and adults alike are spending the bulk of their free time outside of school and work on screens, the media’s in昀氀uence over children seems ever-present. For children on the autism spectrum especially, there are even greater risks associated with the use of digital devices and increased screen time. Victoria Dunkley, M.D., explains, “Individuals with autism are typically highly attracted to Why You Should Set Screen screen-based technology and are not only Time Limits at increased risk for developing video game and other technology addictions, but are Since the ASD brain is hyper sensitive to more likely to exhibit symptoms with smaller screens and susceptible to an addictive at- amounts of exposure.” mosphere, it’s crucial to limit the amount of time your child spends on their computer, Since children on the spectrum are more tablet or phone. As mentioned in Scientif- prone to technology addictions, they should ic American, “Setting limits on the amount use digital devices with regulation. Parents and content of children’s media is generally can use 昀椀ltering software to block speci昀椀c e昀昀ective at reducing time on TV and video categories of content and keywords which games and at reducing violent media expo- may trigger obsessive behavior and in addi- sure” – which is important to keep your ASD, tion to 昀椀ltering, it is recommended that fam- ADD or ADHD child safe, happy and healthy. ilies manage their ASD child’s online time by using a scheduling program or device. Douglas Gentile, a research scientist, edu- cator, and Associate Professor of Psychology at Iowa State University states from a recent study that, “Children whose parents set more limits on the amount and content of media were now getting more sleep, had gained less weight (lowering their risk of obesity), were getting better grades in school, exhib- ited more helpful and cooperative social be- haviors in school, and were less aggressive with their peers (as seen by the classroom teachers).” Parents need to be on the forefront of their child’s media consumption and digital use. Learn the platforms your child is using, un- derstand their habits and moderate their screen time. The American College of Pe- diatricians reiterates, “It is crucial that all parents become media educated. Parents should be aware of program ratings and monitor programs that their children watch and software that allows the adult to block undesirable programs is also a helpful tool.” 25

Ch 3. Introducing Boundaries & Creating Digital Distance 26

Apps vs. Social Media: Usage, Warnings & Etiquette There are a number unique issues for parent- Social Media ing a child with ASD in a digital world, and with Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Snapchat each, there are a variety of ways technology are omnipresent in our world. These are the can exacerbate the issues or aid in the solution. most popular social platforms among teens It is important to monitor screen time for your- and tweens at the moment, and etiquette on self and your kids, and especially important for them is nuanced and sometimes di昀케cult to kids on the spectrum, as they have an increased understand. For example, it can be perceived risk of developing a technology addiction. as distasteful or “weird” to like or comment on the same person’s posts too often, or to con- Apps & Websites tact the same person too many times with- Not all screen time is created equally. To simpli- out response, and for those on the spectrum fy, there are two classes of apps and web sites: understanding these limits can be di昀케cult. educational and entertainment. Reports show Parents should understand the basics of the that kids on the autism spectrum are prone to social media platforms their children are us- spending long hours engrossed in internet use ing and restrict computer use to a common and video games. room in the house for moderation. Create a conversation checklist for social media etiquette. Would my parents or teachers be happy if they saw this post? Is this post or message free of personal information, such as phone number, address, school name, etc.? Have I liked or commented on this person’s posts less than three times this week? Do I know the person I am talking to? 27

Navigating the Mine Fields of Social Media With Your Child Navigating the in-roads into your child’s life is like navigating a mine 昀椀eld. As a parent of an autistic child, you may notice that your child prefers spending time generally online browsing the internet, rather than engaging socially online or chatting in apps with friends. However, if they do have a social media presence, it’s important to have guardrails in place for expecta- tions of good behavior. Social Media Can Make Private Things Public on devices and to have a clearly communi- We work hard as parents to help our kids cated plan of what to do when screen time is understand that privacy is important. But done for the day. we also need to teach our children the Create Boundaries and Limits boundaries for privacy in the digital world. Passwords that are kept PRIVATE are help- Set examples of boundaries with your whole ful to keep children safe—just like a key to family — no cell phones at the dinner table; their front door. charge phones at a family charging station outside of the bedrooms; limit phone use; be Staying Safe is Normal conservative about posts. Treat social media safeguards as you Passwords would any other safety device—seatbelts in the car, locking the front door at home, Unlike adults who might try and write them wearing helmets while riding bikes, being down in a reasonable spot, kids keep chang- careful of strangers. Putting safeguards ing them to keep adults out of their business. on their game systems and phones (if they It is OK to make a deal — “You can use the in- have them) is a good idea for everyone to ternet if I have your password” or “In order to do—even parents. Choose safeguards as a have the privilege of using your phone, I need family for all devices—including your own. the password.” Here is where we need to be honorable — snooping just to snoop is not First Things First honorable. Checking up on our kids because Ice cream for dinner and vegetables for we are concerned about their safety is called dessert may sound like heaven but for parenting. many of us, it will lead to sour stomachs and Establish a Village poor nutrition. Such is the case with screen time. Too much screen time robs children of Parents learn a lot from other parents. Invit- interacting with friends or siblings face to ing YOUR peers to be part of your village is a face, limits their learning to collaborate on good idea. Some parents have “intel” on what a project or a game and replaces explor- parties are going on, what kids are likely caus- ing the outdoors. Especially with the ASD’s ing trouble, Rely on your village to be watchful child ability to 昀椀xate on various tech, it’s and keep you informed when something con- crucial to moderate how much time is spent cerning seems to be going on. 28

Parent Re昀氀ections: 1. What conversations about social media safety have I had with my children? What should we discuss? 2. What software safeguards am I prepared to put in place for my kids and what do I need for myself? 3. What do I need to learn about the digital world to make myself aware of my child’s world? How will I go about learning this? 4. How can I language my concern or frustration in a way that is more caring and sensitive to my child’s developmental phase and builds bridges rather than walls? 29

Guarding Your Child’s Privacy We need to educate our children – especially those with autism spectrum disorder – and provide them with the necessary tools and strategies to successfully manage any communications they may receive. Be- cause communication and reading emotional cues 1 in 5 U.S. teenagers who can be di昀케cult for children on the spectrum, they regularly log on to the may not realize something’s inappropriate. Here are internet says they have some important tips to consider as you prepare your child: received an unwanted Start the Conversation sexual solicitation via the web. Only 25% of those Don’t hesitate to talk with your child about online told a parent. predators. In an age appropriate manner, explain to them what they are, what their motives are and rein- force they are not to be trusted. Use short sentences and clear thoughts to help them best understand. Educate About Grooming Tactics Make sure your child understands the “red 昀氀ags” of grooming. Talk through examples with them on what things they may hear in an online chat. Some of these things may include: “Let’s chat privately.” “I’d love to meet you. Where do you live?” “Where do you hang out?” “What do you like to do with your friends?” These are all tactics to gain a young person’s trust and create a vulnerable situation where they may become a victim. Minimize Shame Above all else, it is vitally important that your child trusts you and feels they can turn to you if they feel unsafe or question an online interaction. While explaining the risks, be sure to also re- inforce you are there to help them navigate this online world. Monitor Online Activity Keep the family computer and your child’s devices in a neutral space in the house where every- one can see online behavior. Set screen time limits on the amount of time your child spends on line or in apps. Use a parental control software to receive alerts about inappropriate activity on content. 30

Transitions, Triggers & Tantrums: How to Avoid a Digital Meltdown Children, especially those on the autism spec- contact, coming up with conversation topics, trum, often struggle to transition from pre- and having to regulate yourself to accom- ferred activities to non-preferred activities, modate others. With electronic games and for obvious reasons: no one enjoys stopping online interactions, you don’t have to worry something they like to do in order to some- about any of those th thing they don’t want! Kids who struggle with 昀氀exibility preferred Interventions for Smooth and preferred activities can be di昀케cult. For Transitions example, if a child is play- Rigid children are going to ing with a toy (preferred) resist transitions and often and parent says it’s time to meltdown over them be- go to the playground (pre- cause they don’t have the ferred) the child may still ability to think logically and resist and meltdown. This reasonably and adjust their is because they cannot ra- thinking. However, they can tionally think ‘Oh this new learn how to do these things activity will be fun’ or ‘I can with some basic behavioral come back to my toy later’, and social skills interven- they only think ‘I like what tions and with caregivers I’m doing now and I don’t adjusting the way they han- want to stop it.’ This is why dle their child’s transitions. it’s so hard for these kids to transition between activi- Visual/Picture Schedules ties. Use a picture schedule for routines, such as the morn- Struggling with Electronic ing routine, school schedule, bedtime rou- tines. Children need routines nd the action of Devices ‘changing the schedule’ is the expected ac- All children seem to struggle to get o昀昀 their tivity between each and every transition. electronic devices because they really enjoy Set a Timer & Give Reminders playing with them. Children with autism have Set expectations by telling your child, “You a hard time interacting socially with others, have 5 more minutes on that game, and then it’s less stressful and easier for them to inter- it’s time to go.” Then, set a timer and when it act with a game, than with real live people. beeps the child needs to get o昀昀 the device. It’s especially important for children on the Now the child may still 昀椀ght about it, but it’s spectrum to have regular, in-person conver- harder to argue with an inanimate timer sations or interactive play involving thinking than with a caregiver. “Sorry the timer went about the other person, looking at them, eye o昀昀; the game is all done.” 31

Explain Expected Behavior Do Not Negotiate privilege later they will (hope- Be clear on the expected be- If the child has a tantrum over fully) remember this the next havior you want to see before- a game being over, calm- time they are in this situation hand and teach the child the ly take the game, turn o昀昀 the and make a better choice. 昀氀exible thought by explaining TV/computer, and ignore the the consequences of their ac- meltdown. Don’t try to ratio- You can also remind them of tions. For example, the parent nalize or negotiate. The child this and say: “You know yes- would say, “Okay in 昀椀ve min- is not in a presence of mind to terday when I said computer utes, the game is all done. If understand logic at that point. time is over, you screamed and you throw a 昀椀t when it’s done, They cannot grasp it, and any didn’t get to play the whole day. you don’t get to play for the lecturing or discussion is com- That was no fun, right? Let’s re- rest of the day. If you get o昀昀 pletely futile. member that now, so we can nicely, then you can play your make a good choice. Then you game later.” This teaches the get to play again later!” child how to think reasonably, use logic, and learn the skill Limit Electronics you would like them to learn. To prevent meltdowns, try to While some 昀氀exible kids will not let the child on their pre- just naturally understand this, ferred electronics before more rigid children will need to homework time, right before learn this type of thinking. going out somewhere, or right before bedtime. For children Follow Through that may physically 昀椀ght over If your child starts to get upset, handing the parent the game you could give a little reminder: or keep turning the device back “Oh, I hope you can hand me on after you’ve turned it o昀昀, the toy nicely without crying just take the charging cord or and then you can play it later. Wait until they are calm and turn o昀昀 the Wi-Fi. You can also Hmm, I hear some whining, re- then discuss how the child can change the password later, so member, that means no more make a better choice next time. when it’s time for the conse- game for the rest of the day. Later, you can explain why they quence they cannot access the Let’s make a good choice.” If had to transition, and that if game- this works well if you the child does continue the they are calm when told all know your child will just sneak tantrum, then take the game done they are more likely to get onto the device again later. away, and later remind them to play it later, but if they throw Make sure the password isn’t they lost their game privilege a 昀椀t, they won’t get to play it easy to guess. (Don’t use the due to the meltdown but they later. pet’s name!) can try again tomorrow. If they did a good job, praise them Try to acknowledge the child’s If the child’s behavior continues signi昀椀cantly saying, “Thank feelings so they feel heard. You or worsens, consider having you for making a great choice! can say: “I know it makes you them see a behavioral thera- Because you listened and got sad to turn o昀昀 the game, it’s pist to work on these problems, o昀昀 your game nicely, you get really hard to stop playing your or talk to their teacher to work to play it later! Good job. I love favorite activity.” “It’s okay to on this behavior in school. that you can listen to me and be upset about it but we need be so 昀氀exible!” Later, when to make a good choice.” The they get to play the game, re- calmer you are, the more likely mind them of their good choice your child will behave calmly. they made earlier to reinforce After they’ve learned the con- the lesson. sequence of losing the game 32

Teaching Self-Regulation Skills If your child is often getting very upset about little problems they likely are su昀昀ering from poor self-regulation skills. Most young children need help with this, but some kids just struggle more than others. The good news is that it isn’t anyone’s fault, and it’s quite 昀椀xable. A behavioral therapist can be very helpful, as well as your child’s school teacher and guidance counselor, in teaching these skills. There are also some things parents can do to teach their child how to handle their feelings. Name Their Emotions First. help your child just identify how they feel. One way is to name their emotions, and then get them to say it too. For example, if they are yelling and stomping you can say, “It looks like you are angry. Can you say, ‘I’m angry!’?” Name Your Emotions Another way to help children be more aware of their feelings is to name your own emotions. For example, you can say, “I feel sad when you hit me.” Name positive emotions too, like: • “I feel happy because you listened right away!” • “We are so excited because we’re going to the playground!” Get some feelings 昀氀ashcards (you can 昀椀nd some for free online), and feelings children’s books and have the child name what emotion is showing on the face. Make faces showing various emotions (frown=sad, smile=happy, etc) and have your child name the feeling. Have your child also do it and make you guess. Most kids love to be silly, so encourage them to make silly faces or silly guesses too. Use Stories and Scenarios Make up some scenarios and include some your child may have experienced and ask your child how they think the person in the situation would feel. • “Maria was playing with her favorite toy, and then her brother Johnny took it from her and broke it. How would Maria feel?” • “You couldn’t wait to go on a picnic, but then it rained and it was cancelled, how would you feel?” There are many books that address this topic as well which may be helpful. The movie “Inside Out” is helpful for children to understand feelings. After your child is able to understand emo- tions, encourage them to name their feelings when they are upset. 33

Manage Feelings Next, you want them to learn how to manage that feeling. Like the examples listed earlier, have the child identify in a scenario how some- one would feel, and then have them respond how they would handle the situation. You can throw in situations that have happened to your child as well. “Justin’s sister pulled his hair and called him an idiot. How does he feel? What should he do about it?” Encourage the child 昀椀rst to come up with the answer and if they struggle, then give them some suggestions. A sense of humor can make this game more fun like giving some silly/wacky responses and having the child pick the right one among the funny reaction choices. Avoiding Meltdowns Before a child has a meltdown, if you can anticipate it, remind them what a good response would be, and encourage them to make it. For instance: “Honey, I just learned that baseball was cancelled today because the coach was sick. I know you will be disappointed. Let’s think of a good way to respond to this problem…” and see if the child can come up with a re- sponse. Also after a child has had a meltdown, talk to them about how to handle it better next time. “Sweetie, you were very upset when your brother kicked you. You screamed and hit him back. What would’ve been a better way to handle this problem next time?” Then, if possible, act it out/role play the positive solution at that time so the child can remember how to do it the next time. Asking your child questions will help them be more aware of their emotions and how they handle situations while teaching them how to make better choices and feel better about things too. Try these: • “What were you feeling?” • “What were you thinking about when this happened?” • “How could we solve that problem?” • “What would be a better choice that would get you what you wanted in a better way?” 34

Employ Critical & Positive Thinking If the child is old enough for some critical thinking, try to get them to identify those thoughts that led to the feelings. For example: “If someone called you a mean name you are likely thinking ‘They don’t like me. They think I’m stupid,’ perhaps, which leads to you feel- ing sad.” Teach your child to change their thinking to something more positive such as: “They are just trying to make you mad. Or they are having a bad day,” and then you don’t feel so upset, you can shrug it o昀昀 easier. If you can change your thoughts to more positive and realistic things, or at least to thinking you can handle the negative situation, then you will feel better, and your behavior will result from that too. All behavior occurs as a reaction from feelings which are caused by thinking. If we target changing the thinking, the rest will change automatically. If we just focus on changing behavior, it still doesn’t help learn how to man- age those thoughts and feelings which still require regulation. 35

How to Create an Unplugged Bedtime Routine When it comes to bedtime, what’s the best routine for your child? Children on the spectrum respond well to set rules and routines – and a bed- time routine is no exception. Ensuring a good night’s sleep is important for all kids, but even more so for ASD, ADD or ADHD households. Are Wireless Signals A昀昀ecting Your Child? After a study by the US Na- tional Toxicology Program linked radiofrequency radi- ation in rats to carcinogen- ic growths, the American Association of Pediatrics updated their recommen- dations for cell phone expo- sure to children. Each time a call, text or data is used from a device, small amounts of radiation are emitted and can potentially be harmful for children, if exposed to pro- longed use. While there needs to be more extensive research on this subject, parents should be aware of this updated recommendation and err on the side of caution. “The AAP reinforces its existing recommenda- tions on limiting cell phone use for children and teenagers. The AAP also reminds parents that cell phones are not toys, and are not recommended for infants and toddlers to play with.” Parents of autistic children should be especially cognizant of how the wireless radiation and electromagnetic 昀椀elds can react with their child’s brain. According to Martha Herbert, a pediatric neurologist from Harvard Medical School’s 昀椀ndings regarding autism and elec- tromagnetic 昀椀elds, she recommends that parents taking precautionary measures. 36

Establish a Bedtime Plan Establish a Bedtime Plan All of these factors can roll into an unhealthy night’s sleep for your child, which only increases the need of a well-planned nighttime routine. Here are some tips you can use to help establish a strong sleep pattern for your child. Check for Food/Environmental Allergies Gastrointestinal intolerances and issues are more common in persons on the autism spectrum and can prevent your child from getting an undisturbed night’s sleep. Check for Medication Side E昀昀ects Some medications may have side e昀昀ects that prevent your child from falling asleep or staying asleep through the night. Check with your doctor for any possible side e昀昀ects that may arise. Identify any Parasomnias or Sleep Disorders According to the National Sleep Foundation, parasomnias are classi昀椀ed as any unusual sleep behaviors, outside of sleep apnea, that could include: nightmares or sleep terrors, sleepwalking, or sleep aggression. Survey the Sleep Environment A quick temperature check is an easy way to see how your child is most comfortable at bedtime. If they are too hot or too cold, it could stimulate them to stay awake. Take note of their prefer- ence and work into your nightly routine. Also consider the noise level inside and outside of your child’s bedroom. Sounds of tra昀케c, weather or other factors outside of your home could cause them to stay awake. Apply Some Pressure Children with autism or sensory disorders could respond well to weighted blankets or bedding that provides pressure, providing a sense of calming while they sleep. Other tactile things to consider are your child’s pajama preferences. Not only is it safer for your child to have a bed- room without a computer, television, tablet or smartphone, it’s conducive to sleep. In addition to removing screens from the bedroom, you’ll want to enforce screen-free time one to two hours prior to bedtime. Try Soothing Activities Bath time, coloring, and a calming back rub can go a long way. Lorna Jean King, the founder of the Children’s Center for Neurodevelopmental Studies suggest, “If a bath or shower is an eve- ning activity, follow with 昀椀ve minutes of a towel “rub-down,” being sure to use downward strokes in the direction the hair grows. A rub-down with lotion may be used to add to the length of this activity. Pressure touch is calming. After the child is in bed, a back-rub may also be soothing. Again, be sure to start with the neck and go down to the base of the spine. Use slow, rhythmic strokes; when one hand is at the base on the spine, start at the back of the neck with the other hand.” Be Consistent Set a bedtime that allows enough time to unwind through routine and allows the minimum num- ber of recommended hours of sleep for your child’s age. chart for quick reference. Keep in mind that ASD children can exert more energy than a neurotypical child, so may need more sleep to recover each night. Instituting a visual schedule for bedtime tasks can also help your child learn the steps in the bedtime routine you create. 37

The Myth of Multitasking According to Dr. Adam Gazzaley, a neuroscientist at the University of California, San Francisco, when you engage in one task at a time, the prefrontal cortex works in harmony with the other parts of the brain, but when you toss in another task it forces the left and the right side of the brain to work independently. When the brain takes in new information, it reduces the primary focus of the 昀椀rst task. When anyone multitasks by splitting their attention, they may think the mind can juggle two or three activities successfully at once but Gazzaley thinks we woefully underestimate that ability. Shift Focus to Unitasking Author Sharon Salzberg shares in her latest book, Real Happiness at Work, that human beings seem to be unable to multitask. Salz- berg recommends that we become “unitask- ers” rather than multitasker. Intentionally re- ducing how much information we are taking in at any given time. Narrowing the scope of our attention so that we are focusing on one thing at a time as much as possible. Fo- cusing on one task over a sustained period, increases our ability to concentrate, retain information and increase productivity. This recommendation is particularly bene昀椀cial for children with ASD. How Multitasking Impacts Children with ASD Multitasking, while ine昀케cient for most of the population, can be extremely disrup- tive for a child with ASD. Researchers have discovered that the brains of children with autism are in昀氀exible at rest-to-task perfor- mance. This basically means that speci昀椀c brain connections do not change or function as they should, when switching from a rest- ing-state to a task-state. According to Victo- ria L. Dunckley, MD integrative psychiatrist, “children with autism tend to have a fragile attention system, poor executive functioning, and ‘reduced bandwidth’ when processing information.” Various studies have shown on tests of cognitive 昀氀exibility, participants with ASD demonstrate impaired cognitive 昀氀exi- bility and show impaired performance when attempting to perform multiple tasks. 38

Below are several strategies that many experts have found e昀昀ective to assist a child with ASD, when presented with multiple task scenarios. Break It Down to One Task at a Time According to FEAT (Families for E昀昀ective Autism Treatment), multi-tasking likely means multi-trouble, but if someone with autism is reminded to take one step at a time, they can excel at a very high level. FEAT recommends, “Tackling situations one step at a time will make the situations much simpler to overcome and not over- whelming for an autistic person.” Consider Increasing Time for Tasks Multitasking requires rapid information processing but children with ASD are typ- ically slow information processing, frequently needing more time to process infor- mation. When not given adequate time to process each piece, they can become quickly overwhelmed. If your child seems overwhelmed consider allowing a bit more time to complete tasks. Limit the Number of Tasks Young people with autism may also 昀椀nd it di昀케cult to multitask because they stick rigidly to tasks in the order they are given to them. Dr. Gnanathusharan Rajendran, a lecturer in Psychology at Strathclyde said, “The pupils with autism achieved tasks when they were given to them singly but di昀케culties emerged when they were asked to interleave the tasks with each other. There was no di昀昀erence in the time taken by the groups but the pupils with autism completed fewer tasks.” 39

Digital Detox Checklist Young kids growing up on the Autism Spectrum have brains more vulnerable to tech and screen addiction. Bad habits with destructive e昀昀ects can develop quicker and easier than you think. Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder often seek solace in the predictable and isolated nature of computers and video games, and parents will notice screen time quiets some of their disruptive behaviors, so they are not always inclined to interrupt. But the line between seeking solace and forming a dependence is paper thin. It can be di昀케cult to dif- ferentiate the two when everything that happens seems to happen online. A digital detox is one way to take back control of technology use in your life and in your household. It may be di昀케cult, especially for a child on the spectrum that is used to the peaceful time spent on screens, but taking an extended break from digital devices will reveal the potentially harmful habits you may not know you and your family have formed, and help bring them to an end. Detoxes should last a minimum of 24 hours, but the longer it lasts, the more it reveals and potentially repairs. This digital detox checklist will help you take an important step to 昀椀ght- ing screen addiction. 1. Plan in advance. Find a time that everyone in the family can shut down their devices for at least 24 hours. 2. Write down a mission statement. Put into words the reason you are detoxing to remind the family why the detox is important. 3. Keep the family’s devices stored together during the detox period. It will make it easier to keep track of potential rule breakers. 4. Let people know you’ll be o昀툀ine. Tell anyone who regularly contacts you of your detox plans so they understand you will be away from your devices. 5. Plan activities to keep everyone occupied and enjoying time away from devices. Idle hands are the devil’s workshop… maybe that’s too dramatic, but idle hands certainly gravitate to smartphones. Enjoy the time away from the digital world. It will teach your child that he can 昀椀nd peaceful spaces and fun away from screens. 6. Prepare to log back on. There will undoubtedly be a barrage of noti昀椀cations and alerts. This may be overwhelming and overstimulating, so be patient and take it step by step. 7. Schedule a regular detox. Monthly, bi-weekly, weekly, whatever interval it may be, a regular detox will help cleanse the mind and give structure to an otherwise disruptive event. 40

Digital Contract for Your Family Tablet Computer/Laptop Phone Video Game Console You Agree To: Only watch videos/visit websites that my parents approve. Not download anything without permission 昀椀rst. Only spend ____ minutes on the tablet/phone/computer/game each day. I can use the devices between the hours of ________________ only. Tell a parent if I see something that makes me feel uncomfortable. ______________ rooms are o昀昀-limits for using any device. Ask permission before purchasing anything online. All devices should charge overnight in _______________. I promise not to use any devices during breakfast, lunch or dinner. I won’t let screen time distract me from homework and my favorite hobbies, like _______________________. Not share any personal information or photos without approval. We Agree To: Watch along with my child & interact while they view videos and apps. Keep family meals unplugged. Be a good digital citizen and teach my kids to do the same. Won’t text and drive. Review privacy settings with the family. Keep all device passwords. Turn o昀昀 all screens _____________ minutes before bedtime. _________________________ _________________________ _________________________ _________________________ (Parent/Guardian Signature) _________________________ _________________________ (Child Signature) 41