• Stomach, Lungs, and Kidneys: All three can be re-purposed into eco- friendly wallets, purses, or handbags that are sure to make for exciting party conversations. Make sure to mention where you got them from! • Skin: Dermal tissue has proven to be one of the most popular organs in regional polls. Shirts, hoodies, gloves, hats, you name it, nothing is more comfortable than one’s own skin. Though often viewed as mildly insensitive, skin clothing serves as a great reminder that the human body was built for reusability. Warning! The one organ that The Cannibal’s Cookbook has no current utility for is the brain. Consumption of this organ is heavily discouraged and may lead to the development of Kuru: a disease that causes irreversible nervous system damage and eventual death. Unfortunately, this means that the best thing to do with a brain is to throw it out. Preferably in a plastic bag to keep animals out of your dumpster. Keep away from children at all costs!5 Ending Notes And there you have it, a brief introduction to the cannibal lifestyle. As stated before, we’re always seeking new and creative uses for the body. If you’d like a chance to share your ideas and have them published, send us an email, and we may feature your clever creations in our sister magazine, Off the Menu. We thank you for reading till the end. Hopefully it has convinced you that our way of living is not only more green, but is also stylish, fun, and healthy. The path towards sustainability cannot be won by disorderly movements or corrupt politicians, but by caring individuals like yourself and the vote you carry with you in your wallet. And remember: Stop wasting; start tasting! 5 This notice is required under FDA safety regulations. 5 PLAINS paradox